My Princess Boy and the Un-Policing of Gender

3/22/2012

Tags: children/youth, gender, lgbtq, social construction, social mvmts/social change/resistance, masculinity, parenting, childhood socialization, 06 to 10 mins
Year: 2011
Length: 6:07
Access: abcNews

Summary: Dyson is a 5-year-old boy who loves to wear dresses. In this video, Dyson's mother explains Dyson's love for this culturally feminine attire, reactions of friends and teachers to Dyson's wardrobe, and how Dyson's love for dresses led her to write the children's book My Princess Boy and become a spokesperson for transgender tolerance. This video can be used to illustrate various aspects of gender identity development, and it can initiate discussions around "nature versus nurture," specifically whether gender is an innate phenomenon or a social construction. Dyson's mother also runs a blog by the same name as her book, which provides additional resources, including information about Acceptance Play Groups. See also The Sociological Cinema's post, "Policing the Parenting of Boys," which discusses the recent high profile J.Crew advertisement depicting a mother with her young son and his pink toenail polish.

Submitted By: Nihal Celik

9 Comments

David Green link

7/4/2012 12:21:45 am

Historically men have spent far more time wearing gowns, robes, smocks etc than pants/trousers, indeed, a majority of the world still does; they are more comfortable so naturally Dyson would prefer dresses to the constriction of pants. There is also the question of who dressed him? In this case his mother - my father was dressed as a girl until the age of 5 and suffered immense embarassment from family photos for the rest of his life. Clothes have nothing to do with gender identity but fashion and the dictates of society do. If you are aiming for comfort wear a gown; if you want to break down gender identity then teach your child rather than dressing him/her up.

Nicola Smith

7/11/2012 03:18:04 pm

If your father was forced into the dresses , then that is not right. If he chose the dresses and the rest of the family made fun of him to the point of shame, that's not right either. My nephew always had a favourite dress that he liked to play dress up in - it was blue with white polka dots. His mum never made an issue of it and he doesn't feel embarrassed as an 18 year to acknowledge that. As a young man he doesn't show an inclination to wear dresses. However, he grew up to be a very open-minded person and accepting of others as he was accepted.

Frank Clark

2/22/2013 10:08:48 am

This is gender confusion. There is nothing wrong with an interest in a dress, but how a child dresses, as a child, does effect his identity. Boys wear the pants and girls wear the dresses. This seems like a lonely boy, in a somewhat of a fantasy world. Little girls play dress up. Boys play soldier.

I do not believe that a transgendered person is born that way, but it is learned. Where is the father? No male role model. It appears these boys are adopted. This child needs to have a man in his life.
So, as he grows up, he will have the option to choose the lifestyle best suited for him.

"Princess Boy" is confusing. He needs to know what a normal role is for a man, and a normal role is for a woman. Yes, we need to return to defined roles for boys and girls. They can't be both.

Sarah

2/17/2014 12:36:03 pm

Oh, thank you so much for telling us what you "believe", Frank. That sure clears a lot up. Question, though... you "believe" it based on what? Your years of serious research? Probably not. I really don't understand why people feel inclined to share what they "believe" about something they know virtually nothing about... as if that were some magic potion that made things true. Talk about a fantasy world. To be clear, I "believe" you're an small minded idiot.

Aeryn Felice

6/4/2015 03:06:00 am

Gender confusion is related to gender issues not clothing style! Lonely boy WTF just because he doesn't have male friends. I am a gender variant born person with two brothers and one sister raised in a nurturing household but from age four I knew my brain did not match my body. If I had a son I would raise the boy the same way as he is now and I guess you class me as a non male role model but I would consider that a compliment.

jim

10/15/2014 01:26:56 pm

Let me say that I was raised in a "traditional" family, father and mother. Both church going. Went to private catholic school. Was not molested. Was not abused or mistreated. And from the time I can remember, about 4 or 5, I wanted to wear dresses and pretty clothes. High heels. And makeup. I longed to be like the girls and women I saw. But as a boy I was not allowed to wear skirts or dresses. It wasnt my parents fault, they didn't know any better, it was the 70s and boys didn't do that
So they taught me that boys wear pants and girls wear dresses. And boys dont play princess. Now I am in my 40s, and I still wear dresses and skirts. I still love heels and pretty clothes. I can assure you I was BORN this way and not taught or forced into it in any way. Those people like Frank are the confused ones. They are the reason sexual harassment and date rape are still so prevalent. They teach that their are boy roles and girl roles. And those roles are completely polar opposites. Boys become men and are hard and unemotional. And garland soft and pretty and to be the servants of men and sexual conquests. They are the ones who praise boys for "getting some" and then put down the girl. The boy is a stud the girl is a slut. A man in business what is shrewd and does well is a "boss" a woman who does this is a bitch. A boy who wants to be a princess is not confused or wrong. He is just having fun. And Maybe, he is really a she inside. See, he and she is just another label. Like asshole or father or mother. These are labels that society created. What about single parents, are they not both father and mother? Is it wrong for a single father to paint nails and do makeup play with his little girl if she wants to? Is that not being a good parent? Gender roles are so obsolete. They are very barbaric and create more issues than good.
How about we let children be children. Let them have fun and teach them that love and respect is more important than anything else.

petra somers

4/15/2015 12:01:13 pm

Very true comments frank totally wrong it's somthing you set born with that's all

Ash

9/14/2023 08:18:59 am

We do need female and male roles they are our guide lines when growing up. Instead of removing the path in the forest we create new one. Guide lines for the non binary, tran, cross dress, gender fluid and so on. Some people need someone or a mild to look up to. To understand that it’s okay if you like wearing dress or trousers. But turning off the lights and leaving children in the dark causes confusion and turmoil. It great to know what you like and who you want to be. But not everybody does some people need to experiment and experience different thing, to get inspiration from others in life. Someone might like dress cause they saw how beautiful someone look and what to feel beautiful in a dress too. You can not tell me that you like something just because. Find one identity is a journey that can span form a day to decades. Stereotypes can do a lot of negative things but I use stereotypes as a way to point out what I don’t want to be. Without them growing up I would have had a lot more trouble deciding that I didn’t like makeup or skirts. That I love watch “boy” shows. I know there are plenty of people who hate stereotypes, that thank to them it’s made many people’s lives difficult but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have existed or should be thrown away and become forgotten. It’s just that some people are stupid in believing that every girl or boy, every person can be different.

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My Princess Boy and the Un-Policing of Gender

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